As the holidays wind down and the year draws to a close, I hear a lot of people saying they can't wait for 2011 to start. While I fully consider myself a big fan of this year ending, I think I've handled myself pretty well. I've been unemployed since April, broke since August, had my professional heart broken at least three times, had my car broke down on four separate occasions (including two punctured tires), suffered through the agonizing pain of a strained back, and watched helplessly as a mouse climbed up my bed while I was still in it. I could go on and name the countless other gut-wrenching moments of complete negativity, but I'd rather not, for a couple reasons. First, because while there have been some pretty horrendous episodes of "WTF, Universe" playing on the Dori's Life channel this year, there have been some pretty amazing moments as well. For instance, three very dear friends and one very special cousin announced (officially) their engagement, and while this doesn't directly impact my life in any way, it's still a truly wonderful thing to be able to celebrate a hugely monumental milestone is someone's life. Secondly, it's just not in my nature to be negative for an extended period of time. While I can say without hesitation that in the past I've succumbed to the monster of defeatist attitudes and negative outlooks, I choose to rise above. I'd much rather spend my time smiling and looking on the bright side than wallowing in the muck of despair and self-pity.
My mother has always said, "Act happy and you'll be happy." I have to say, it's one of my favorite mommy-quips, and she's got some real doozies. Dwelling on the negative only makes you feel like your world is caving in faster. This is not to say that I don't have my moments of freaking out and crying and panic-induced nausea, because oh golly do I ever. But what does freaking out get you? It doesn't get you the job. It doesn't pay your bills. It just makes you more tense than when you started. It might be a nice release, a good way to let off some frustration, but at some point, you have to put on your big-girl panties and deal with the mess. So I choose to be optimistic. I choose to smile and be happy for my friends when they get fantastic news on the same day I get bad news. I choose to joke and laugh at the completely insane things that happen. I may put up a morose and pity-inducing facebook status, but ten minutes later, I'm most likely laughing about the insanity that has taken up residence in my life. So while the universe has decided that maybe 2010 wasn't my year, I decided it was my year to be challenged to stay positive. A challenge to my spirit and tenacity; do I keep fighting and keep looking or do I give up and slink back into the shadows of failure. In the words of my all-too-brilliant Mommy, I act happy so that eventually, I'll actually be happy. And after a few hours of puttering around the house, after my morning dose of Monster-Craigslist-Idealist, I face the world with a genuine smile and a happy "hello."
Some other Mommy-isms to live by:
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Whatever's meant to be will be. (quite possibly the family mantra as every woman in my family has said this to me at one time or another)
Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. (Yes, she quotes Dr. Seuss)
Sometimes you just need to cry.
Acting a certain way to achieve a state of mind also works in reverse; being negative constantly only reinforces that attitude. You're exactly right, its necessary at some points in our life as a release, but taking life in stride is a much-better (and less painful) way to live. Hopefully we'll all have more ups than downs in 2011, but I'm not so eager for it to start either; I'm going to enjoy the next 48 and 1/2 hours. Another year doesn't necessarily mean a better or worse one either, as I'm sure you'll agree.
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