I've spent a good portion of my life, more specifically the past 6 or 7 years of my life, putting everyone else first. My parents raised me to be hospitable and think of others before myself, and it's definitely a good way to live your life. But looking back, I feel like I've completely neglected my own sanity for the sake of ensuring the happiness of everyone else. Well not no more. While I fully intend on being the accommodating little girl that everyone has come to know and love, I'm going to make a conscious effort to make sure that I'm not sacrificing myself in the process. I over-analyze every comment before I make it, I wonder if my tone can be misconstrued or how the other person will take it if I don't respond with more than a few words. Screw it. If I don't want to talk to you, I'm not going to. I'll be nice and polite, but beyond that, I'm just not going to make the effort.
That being said, sometimes the most self-serving thing I need is a little quality time with my friends. Sometimes, in order to get a little "me" time and rejuvenate myself back into the game, I need some time with people who really know me. And those friends are some of the best people I have come to find. Some I've known for a long time while others are recent additions, but their existence is most definitely a welcomed presence in my life. These are the people who are always on the lookout for jobs that I might find interesting, who tell me I'm awesome when I'm feeling less than stellar. These are the people who will sit next to me for six hours while we do arts and crafts and talk about the madness of our lives, who tell me I'm going out rather than asking. These are the people who giggle excitedly over some stupid kids movie that should be well below my maturity level, and who share my love of kitchen appliances and inspire me with their culinary creativity. These are the people who make me feel a little more me each time I see them.
Finally, a new post! I know exactly what you mean about over-analyzing what you're going to say to people. Before and after. So go for it, I think a lot of us need to put ourselves first a bit more. Even if its only stressing less about how they'll feel if we're just the tiniest iota of (what we feel is) selfishness.
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