I Want to Be a Unicorn When I Grow Up

Every time I think I've figured out what I want to do with my life (read: career), five minutes will pass and I'll change my mind. I feel like I'm in kindergarten and it's career day. After each person explains what their job entails, I immediately want to do what they do. I want to be a teacher, a chef, a doctor, a lawyer, a writer, an actor, a medical examiner, join the Peace Corps or some branch of the military. After careful consideration, each job seems about as likely as me actually becoming a unicorn, and I find myself back at the starting line.

One of the truly interesting things about being unemployed is the never-ending supply of advice. People have always told me to do what I'm good at, something I love. I don't know what I'm good at, I have no clue what I love, so how am I supposed to know what to pursue. And just because I enjoy something doesn't mean I want it to be my job. Whenever I watch "Office Space," I fall short of raising my palm in the air and saying, "Amen! Preach on!" when Peter talks about the question the guidance counselor asks him and how it's supposed to determine what your job path should be. He explains that while other people knew exactly what they would do if they had a million dollars (they'd fix old cars, ergo they should be mechanics) , he had no idea. He didn't have an answer, and neither do I.

My introverted side begs to be locked away in a cubicle or corner office (the dream: work from home), never having to actually interact with the public, minimal contact with other employees if I can avoid it. I just want to do my work and be left alone. The social butterfly side wants to be friends with everyone in the office, smile politely at random people who come in, actually make an impact on someone's life each day. Currently, the introvert is winning. Whenever I have a customer-service related job, I want to be a hermit. When I'm tucked in the corner, I beg for human contact. The grass really is greener and I feel like I'm never fully satisfied.

Right now, I want something that I can maintain for a few years, something that actually offers health insurance (a luxury these days), and someplace where I actually get along with the other employees (I've been lucky in most of my jobs where I enjoy going to work simply for the inter-office exchanges with my colleagues). I know the universe will provide the "perfect" job when it sees fit, and I like to think I've maintained a pretty positive attitude thus far, but sometimes it feels like everyone else has it figured out and I'm stuck back at the beginning. So, until I find a real career, whenever anybody asks what I do for a living, I'm just going to tell them I'm a professional unicorn.